Tom Cruise Jerks Off All Over Movie

“Last night’s Itchy and Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever! Rest assured I was on the internet within minutes voicing my disgust throughout the world.“
-The Comic Book Guy

Tropic Thunder is a very bad movie. This is unfortunate, because it has a lot of things going for it. The plot isn’t bad, the acting is good and it features lovable Rico, from the the wonderful 2007 film, Hot Rod (Ed.’s note: Hot Rod was also not a good movie; Rico is the lost necklace in the bucket of shit, however).

While Tropic Thunder also suffers from the usual comedy-film pitfalls that there is no reason to complain about (‘How did that guy get there?’ ‘Where did he get that gun?’ ‘Who’s touching my leg?’), the film’s biggest shortcoming was its self-indulgent nature. Tropic Thunder features a cast of movie stars masturbating all over themselves: Robert Downey Jr. plays a black guy; Tom Cruise a dancing middle-aged Jew; Matthew McConaughey is a sidekick, and Jack Black really flexes his acting muscle in his role as a fat idiot. For the most part, the whole film seems to revolve around getting super-famous actors to play roles that they ordinarily wouldn’t be seen in. Why does Cruise’s character, a bald, bearded movie executive, dance to rap music at various intervals throughout the film? I’m guessing it has more to do with the movie star showing that he can let his hair down and romp with the best of them than making a quality joke or driving the movie.

I’m done foaming for now. Maybe more later.