Hydrox Comes Before Chicken Or Egg

During this early morning’s customary Wikipedia search for “Oreo,” a shocking discovery was made:

“The Oreo cookie was developed and produced by Nabisco, an American, New Jersey based company, in February 1912 at its Chelsea factory in New York City… Oreo is very similar to the Hydrox cookie manufactured by Sunshine, which was introduced in 1908, leading to speculation that Oreo obtained the idea from Sunshine.”

Hydrox Chocolate Sandwich Cookies, the ultimate second-banana metaphor on this side of Lisa Simpson’s Born to Runner Up band (which featured Garfunkel, Messina and Oates), actually predate Oreos by four years.

I’ll give you a second to let that soak in.

While you’re recovering, enjoy this highlight from the Maury Povich Show.

Any way, Hydrox predating Oreos really is Earth-shattering to me. Hydrox are nothing more than a terrible immitation of Oreos; how could they possibly have come first? It’s like Spaceballs predating Star Wars, it just seems illogical. I’m calling shananigans on this one.