His Words Of Wisdom Are Still [Radio Edit]

Imagine with me for a second:

You are on a tour of rock history, making pit stops at all the most epic spots along the way – Boston, 1971, a group of young rockers just changed their name from “Jam Band” to “Aerosmith” and take their place on a stage in Back Bay; 1981, plugging in to a gigantic 6×24 Marshall stack, Billy Squire bangs out the riff that will eventually become “The Stroke”; September 18, 1983, Lisbon, Portugal: KISS appears in public for the first time sans makeup. Now, imagine that at the corner of Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London” and Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama,” you are greeted by your tour guide: none other than Kid Rock.

You can stop imagining now, as the Kid has taken this fantasy, pumped it full of Jim Beam and mayonnaise, wrapped it in a Confederate flag bikini, fucked it while passed out and brought it into glorious reality with his latest single, “All Summer Long.” Following in the tradition of kickass Kid Rock singles like “Early Mornin’ Stoned Pimp,” “Cocky” and “Bawitdaba,” “All Summer Long” is a celebration of all things rock: “Drinkin’ whiskey out the bottle,” “Smokin’ funny things,” and “Singin’ ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ all summer long,” without any confusing metaphors to muck up the musical debauchery.

Like any good classic rock track, “All Summer Long” comes well-equipped with a sick music video, featuring hot women dancing on boats. Kid also looks like a total pimp in the video, sporting his trademark aviator shades and fedora, while eschewing the fur coat in exchange for some badass shirtless scenes. Oh yeah, did I mention that there were tons of hot chicks in the video? If I didn’t, my bad; there totally were.

In addition to mashing up samples of Zevon’s “Werewolves” and “Sweet Home Alabama,” Kid pays homage to the Gods of rock past by featuring Skynyrd’s own Billy Powell with a ripping keyboard solo. He also treats his loyal fans to a little callback action at the end of the video, where if you watch closely you can see that the boat he has been piloting throughout the video is actually called “Cowboy,” a reference to his Creedence-meets-Durst hit single from the Woodstock ‘99 era.

All in all, I give Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long” 7 out of 8 fist pumps, as that elusive eighth pump is reserved exclusively for AC/DC’s “Dynamite.”