As Kirk Goes, So Goes God

If you haven’t see it yet, I suggest taking a gander to check out the widely circulated YouTube video clip (below) of Kirk “Mike Seaver” Cameron and some other weird religious person explaining how the banana is the best evidence for the existence of God, specifically the Judeo-Christian monotheistic version that they believe snapped his fingers and created the Earth, Sun, stars, Eric Bana, Chinese food, iPod Nano, A & S Pork Store on 5th Ave in Brooklyn, kaleidoscopes, Post-It Notes, the Linux Operating System, Sleater-Kinney, guitar strings of all gauges and PCP, among other items commonly and uncommonly found in existence.

Inspired by a recent viewing of said video, I must voice my confusion with Wikipedia’s list of “Kirks.” The list is comprised of a mere 19 names, 6 of which I am familiar with, including the aforementioned former Mike Seaver. Is it possible that I am familiar with approximately 30% of the world’s Kirk population? The only Kirk I can think of that was omitted from the list is Kirk Gibson, the former Dodgers slugger who hit for power when no one else did in the 1980’s and once famously hit a home run off of Dennis Eckersley. A Google search was also unhelpful, providing little more than a map of the Kirksville, Mo. Municipal Airport, a bunch of people whose last named is Kirk and the official website of porn-addict and fellow God-loving Kirk, Kirk Franklin. Where are the world’s Kirks and why doesn’t the Free Encyclopedia have any idea who there are? I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that this is nearly conclusive evidence that their is no God. Suck it down, Kirk Cameron.