Guest Blogger, Eban Singer: “I Have Things To Say About Joe Dumars”

Following a semi-catatonic late-night YouTube sesh two nights ago, Joe Dumars unseated John Stockton as my latest former-basketball-player mancrush.  Not only was Dumars a (if not “the”) central figure of the most dominant team of the late-eighties, but he has personally assembled a Pistons’ team that, disregarding last year’s failed Iverson-Hamilton-Stuckey experiment, has been one of the most dominating teams of the last decade.

But then just yesterday, a day after replacing the Stockton picture in my wallet with one of Dumars, he goes and shakes my emotions to the point where I don’t know which way is up.  To offset the commendable signing of Charlie Villanueva, a 24-year-old Wallace clone to replace the 34-year-old husk of Wallace that played for the Pistons last year (and for the price that some hopeless team will pay for one fan-appreciation-night a year, Dumars goes and signs a 26-year-old Richard Hamilton clone in Ben Gordon.  At first I thought this was a great idea; Joe-D replaced an aging part with a younger, more durable model.  But then I remembered that Dumars committed $34 million over the next 3 years to Rip just 8 months ago.  What?

Granted, there couldn’t be a more ideal replacement for Rip; Gordon’s jump-shooting playing style and numbers are nearly identical to Rip in every way except for 3-point shooting, Hamilton’s biggest weakness but one of Gordon’s main strengths (in 5 seasons, Gordon has racked up nearly twice as many 3’s (770 to 401) as Hamilton has in 10 seasons, and all at a better clip (.415 to .368).  Unfortunately for Dumars, Gordon is also nearly identical to Hamilton in two other important ways: their multi-year contracts in excess of $10 mil yearly and their profound need to start.  You think Rip was upset about being benched in favor Allen Iverson, one of the most prolific scorers of all time and the most productive guard of the last 15 years?  How upset do you think he will be when his 26-year-old self comes round to replace him?  And Ben Gordon may not have gone public with his dissatisfaction with coming off the bench in Chicago, but everyone watching knew he hated it, even when he was playing over 30 minutes a game.  How do you think he’ll handle it now that he has signed his first big-money contract?

I suppose you have to give it up to Dumars for having a design that works and figuring out how to replace all the pieces without changing the boat (note that Rodney Stuckey is nothing if not a 23-year-old Chauncey Billups).  But Hamilton didn’t need replacing; he is still as productive as ever and under contract for another 3 years.  Joe-D could have better spent the money due Ben Gordon over the next 5 years greatly improving and solidifying his front court by letting 35-year-old Antonio McDyess walk and signing 24-year-old double-V-double-A machine Paul Millsap, who will be available now that the Jazz are committed to Carlos Boozer and Mehmet Okur.  Not to mention that Millsap and Jason Maxiell could be the identical henchmen that Villanueva needs to carry out his evil hairless plans.

On the other hand, Dumars may have just recreated the three-guard attack of the late-eighties Pistons that he anchored along with Isiah Thomas and Vinnie Johnson.  If so, I’ll be the first to write a fawning puff piece of Joe Dumars, or maybe even to puff a piece of Joe Dumars.  But unfortunately for me and Joe’s-D, I think the three-man rotation that Dumars has recreated isn’t the dominating backcourt of the late-eighties but the bickering backcourt of 2008-09 that failed so fantastically.