Robots Are Cool, As Long As They’re Sober

Every so often, I guess newspapers try to space it out to avoid market saturation,* we get a wave of articles about some handicapped athlete that overcame their disability via some kind of futuristic implant that allows them to compete in athletic competition again. The subjects of these articles are generally praised for their courage and perseverance, etc. etc., it’s a feel-good story and everyone is happy. End of story.

Isn’t it strange that athletes with exterior enhancements are hailed as heroes while athletes who turn to internal supplements are dragged through the mud and dismissed as cheaters? Is Mark McGwire taking pills or injections to make him as strong as possible significantly different from Amy Palmiero-Winters strapping on some robotic cheetah legs so that she can run as fast as her bionic organs will allow? At the end of the day, isn’t it just a couple of athletes who want to be as good as they can be at their sport?

Q: You’re a dick. Amy Palmiero-Winters suffered a horrific accident, where as Mark McGwire was perfectly healthy and knowingly broke the rules of his game!

A: Really? So someone has to be seriously injured before it’s acceptable to take advantage of the best performance-enhancing technology science has to offer?

* Similarly to the stories of the runners with the cheetah legs, today The Times dusted off the ol’ “Mariano Rivera Is The Epitome Of All That Is Noble And Good” article that they run once a year or so.