Baseball Happening

Real:

Tampa Bay Rays: Best team in baseball.
James Shields, David Price & Matt Garza rule, Evan Longoria continues to make it ok that his name had already been claimed as a famous person name before he got here and Carl Crawford has that year that guys like Carl Crawford have sometimes where they hit .330 and win a weak-ass MVP award.

Albert Pujols: Albert Pujols
Of the 17 players rocking an OPS of at least 1.000 through Monday’s games, the man who the ghost of Jesus Christ couldn’t rape because it’s not rape if the person being penetrated consents to it currently ranks 16th. It will be fun to watch the guys above him on that list quickly tumble, Kosuke Fukudome, I’m looking your way.

Not Real:

Robinson Cano: Lou Gehrig
Yeah, he probably won’t continue hitting .380 over the next five months and apparently still hasn’t heard about that weird little technicality that allows a batter to automatically reach first base if they abstain from swinging at four bad pitches in a plate appearance.

New York Mets: Contenders
Teams on which Mike Pelfrey throws the second-most innings and Jeff Francoeur is fourth in walks don’t generally get to play baseball in October.

Ty Wigginton: Relevant
Nice month, at .311/.409/.689, but yeah, come on. It’s Ty Wigginton.

Miguel Cairo: Major leaguer
The pinch-hit out he made on Monday night against the Mets brought his season line to .100/.100/.100 through 20 plate appearances. Wow.